Entry 4: ...

I haven't posted recently for a couple of reasons, the main reason is being that i have thought of ideas, written the post and then was unable to finish it...to show how bad i'm finding it, i couldn't even think of a post name, hence the reason i have used three dots. I have recently been using the three dots quite a lot more during blogs and talking on social media sites, personally for two reasons...firstly being as it creates a dramatic pause (hence the reason i just used it) and the second i feel like it speaks more when something has been said when it frankly shouldn't, a friend of the family used a saying which can relate to it...the saying was actions speak louder than words, i will come back to this in a second, but firstly i wanted to give you a little update which relates to the post.

I have been recently also trying to explain how i have been feeling to my INFJ father, now being an ISTP...which if anybody who knows about personality types is tough for an ISTP. To make it easier i have used specific saying or phrases which my father understand to help explain these...emotions *shudders*, the phrase i used at least a month ago was the calming before a storm, the definition being "a quiet period just before a period of great activity or excitement. (Literal in reference to weather.)", and oddly enough, that storm hit...and it hurt, it left me somewhat stressed out and in the need of some well needed R&R. about a week ago things change and my phrased changed to another storm related phrase which was "The eye of the storm" (i'm not going to bother finding the definition, but i will explain it) which is the situation when a tornado has hit and you are in the direct center of the storm, the storm is not affecting you but your not out of the storm yet.

Now your wondering how do these two paragraphs connect? Well i will explain, the storm that hit, showed how i need to show that actions speak louder than words, in a nutshell, i showed with my actions that i have taken a stand and showed that i will take no more, i have walked away, this left more for a while...slightly alone and felt more of an outcast as usual, but i has taken a while for me to understand that it was for good reason, and showed that are better people to spend my life with.

And right now i am in that stage but the time is passing and the second half of the storm is approaching and i have to brace myself with the second half of this storm when it hits, but this time i'm ready...i hope.